The Meadow
by Skye-la
Summary: I wrote this a while ago because I was disappointed that the partial draft of Midnight Sun didn't cover the scene in the meadow. So, here is the beginning in Edward's POV. Please review, this is my first real story. More chapters to come.


13/14. The Meadow

I was finally done hunting. Don't get me wrong, I love hunting with Alice. I just hated to be away from Bella for so long a time frame. I ran as fast as I could, and thinking of Bella made me push still faster through the trees. I climbed up through the window and sighed in relief.

I was finally home.

No, Home isn't the right word I shouldn't begin to feel like this is home.

No mistakes.

I breathed in her scent and it still hit me like that very first day. It was kind of floral...and amazingly delicious. I breathed more deeply, trying to get used to her scent. Anything to make today easier.

I sighed and looked down at Bella and frowned. She was strangely silent. That's odd, she's not tossing and not even talking in her sleep. Well, I guess that could be considered good because she's finally getting a good night's sleep, it just didn't let me figure out another small piece of her brain.

I began to feel anxiety as I thought of what monstrosity I was allowing today. How _could_ I agree to this! Being all alone with Bella when she won't even tell her father about her spending time with me! That would at least give me another reason to bring her back.

Poor Charlie.

Another reason for me not to spend time with Bella.

If I..._killed_ her...

I cringed in response to that thought. As Alice said, it would kill him too. And he is a good honest man; it's not right for me to put his life in Jeopardy like this.

_But Bella needs you around to protect her. _It had become a battle inside me.

I argued and warred against myself silently. One side was considerably larger than the other. I _loved_ her with all my heart and my heart was fighting for her. It was overpowering compared to a small piece of logic in my brain.

I was very happy that I had promised her today, where I would show her the sun. I would not make my...no not my...just Bella. I would not make this incredible human miserable today.

She began to stir when it was close to 6:30. I was surprised, thinking she might sleep in at least a little bit, but then again her brain was full of surprises. I slipped silently out her window and into the darkness of the shadows to wait for her to get ready.

I looked up at the sky somber that the clouds did not indeed look lasting. Then again, it was foolish of me to even think of betting against Alice, especially over the weather.

I was sure that when she saw me in the sun she would run. She would finally see the monster that I really am. Or at least have some unconscious trigger of fight or flight. _Something._ I want her to run, I told myself. She should run.

_Run, Bella, run. No, wait stay, don't go..._

I heard her rushing around inside trying to get ready. I couldn't take it anymore.

I sighed. I couldn't put this off any longer. I walked very very slowly at a normal human pace. I tried to compose my face, but had to make due with a somber expression.

Something would change between us today, I could feel it.

I knocked softly on the door.

I listened and heard Bella run down the stairs and fumble with the dead bolt. My lips twitched at the sound of her struggles. She finally opened the door and her face turned from something of anxiety to a calm look.

_What was wrong with her?_

She feels calm with me and ignores all warnings. She is so stubborn.

And I loved that about her.

She breathed a sigh of relief.

_No Bella, run, run, Bella, run!_

I finally looked her over and couldn't help but lighten my mood.

"Good morning" I said while chuckling under my breath.

"What's wrong?" she said while glancing down as if to check all her clothes were there...I resisted thinking that I wish some of them weren't...no.

No mistakes. I would hurt her I was certain.

I forced my mood to lighten again. It wasn't hard.

"We match" and I laughed again, and she joined me.

We both had on a long-sleeved, light tan sweater on with a white collared shirt underneath, with blue jeans and tennis shoes.

She was so beautiful.

She turned and locked the door, while I waited at the passenger door.

_Why_ had I agreed to let her drive?

This truck doesn't even reach 55 MPH. So slow. Ugh.

"We made a deal" she said smugly. She reached over and unlocked my door.

"Where to?" she asked.

My earlier fears were suddenly prominent.

"Put your seat belt on-I'm nervous already"

She flashed a dirty look at me, but did as I asked.

"Where to?" she repeated then sighed.

"Take the one-oh-one north" I ordered.

Most of the whole trip I was gazing at her face mostly lost in the beauty of her pale soft skin. I thought of how warm and soft it felt when I had touched her cheek and then struggled to resist toughing her.

I sighed. No mistakes.

I focused on her driving to take my mind off of her skin. She seemed to be driving very carefully while I could tell she was reacting to my gaze on her face.

Hmm...maybe I was dazzling her. My mood soared. She traveled still slowly.

"Were you planning on making it out of Forks before nightfall?" With her luck her car would break down right in the middle of the road when it was too dark out for humans to see clearly.

I analyzed her face. She seemed a little annoyed. I smiled a quick tiny smile.

"This truck is old enough to be your car's grandfather- have some respect" she retorted.

Respect? This car is ancient! I wondered randomly if she would fight me too much if I suggested getting her a new and better protected car. No, she would kick up a big fuss, I knew it. I smiled inside thinking of how well I knew this amazing woman next to me. And then I frowned, because I didn't know her near well enough. I only knew what she was thinking through her reactions and what she _said_, not likely to be always right. My God, is this what it feels like to be a human teenage boy? Trying to figure out a girl by her actions and words alone? I only knew what I did from listening to what others said and listening to her sleep talk.

We _finally_ reached outside of town limits.

I felt it when she was about to speak, to ask for more directions, no doubt. I quickly answered before her.

"Turn right on the one-ten" I said, and she fell silent once again. Why is she so quiet? No doubt, she's finally dreading today. Worrying about being alone with the monster. With _me._ How could I agree to be alone with her? Why do I continue to put her in danger? Is there a bigger idiot in the world? Certainly not. I let my love overpower my common sense. Again.

"Now we drive until the pavement ends" I said.

"And what's there, at the pavement's end?" she asked.

"A trail" I replied simply. I glanced at her face, and found a little bit of shock.

"We're hiking?" She asked in a slightly smaller voice.

"Is that a problem?" I replied a little smug as I expected she would think it would be. I laughed internally at her clumsy attempts to do simple tasks.

"No" she lied miserably. She really was a terrible liar. Another thing I loved about her. I smiled.

"Don't worry, it's only five miles or so, and we're in no hurry." I said.

She looked shaken and didn't reply. She still didn't talk.

This was driving me insane! She never told me enough and always guarded her thoughts. I tried to wait patiently, but found it utterly impossible! How could anyone posses that kind of patience?

"What are you thinking?" I asked impatiently.

"Just wondering where we're going." she replied.

As if that's all that she's thinking. Ugh. This is torture not knowing the one person's thoughts I wanted to know the most. This is going to get annoying fast. Oh well, I don't mind it so much its part of the mystery and charm that was Bella. No, that's a lie. I NEED TO KNOW HER THOUGHTS!

"It's a place I like to go when the weather is nice." I glanced at the clouds once again wishing they wouldn't disappear. I was sure once Bella saw me in the sunlight she would run. But I tried to tell myself that I wanted her to run. It was what was best for her. She should run. She would run. Ugh, she won't run. She doesn't understand what's best for her.

I saw Bella glance out the window at the same moment I did. That shouldn't have made me happy but it did. I sighed much too quietly for Bella to hear.

"Charlie said it would be warm today." Bella said after a moment.

"And did you tell Charlie what you were up to?" I hoped and prayed the answer was yes. I would need to bring her back even more then.

"Nope" She replied simply. Bella, Bella, Bella. Well at least there's Jessica. She knew we were going to be together today, so I need to bring Bella back. I _need_ to.

"But Jessica thinks we're going to Seattle together" I asked somewhat cheerfully.

"No, I told her you canceled on me-which is true." She stated. She did _what?_ So much for my plan! What was Bella thinking not telling _anyone_ that she was with me! Is she _insane_? She just doesn't grasp the danger that she's putting herself in while being with me!

"No one knows you're with me?" I asked angrily.

"That depends...I assume you told Alice?" Alice?_ ALICE?_ She was another vampire for God's sake! That doesn't leave me with any other reason to bring her back!

"That's very helpful, Bella" I snapped.

She ignored me. I couldn't believe what she was putting herself through! She wasn't thinking at all! And now she's ignoring me. Great. I felt a rush of panic as I realized this was turning out to be the ultimate test of how strong I really was. And then I realized that this test involved my _Bella._ No, just Bella. But Bella still! How could I allow this, and how could she take away every last need for me to not kill her. She was certainly not helping me! Did she not realize how strong I was, how easily I could kill her? Oh God, I can't kill her! I love her! Only someone as sick as I was would even think about, let alone think about acting on killing the love of their life. Only a vampire as naive as me would think that I could love a human. A human as beautiful and unique as Bella. _My _Bella. I was instantly angry again. How could she do this?


End file.
